Fert Report - Not good...

Out of 26 eggs, only 14 were mature. They ICSI'ed all of them and only 6 fertilized. SIX. ICSI fertilization rate should be 70%, and this time and last we're getting less than 50%. If this time repeats last, only a third of what fertilizes will make it to blast, so we're looking at 2 to put back, if they keep growing. -sigh-

I asked my RE why our fertilization rates are so awful and he said it could be a sperm issue or egg issue, but sperm issue is more likely. I just want a child that looks like my husband and I. I want to carry our baby. I don't understand why crackheads and people that hurt and kill their kids get them and my husband and I can't.

His mom said on the 4th that he would be a good dad and that's all I want for him and I'm so hurt and sad that I won't be able to give him that. It absolutely breaks my heart when he tells me that he's broken and that he's the only reason we have to do IVF because all he wants is for us to have our own family. I hate this so much and I can't stop crying at the unfairness of this.